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Archive for the ‘Teabaggers’ Category

OH YEEHAW THA FORF OF JULY, time for the awful racist slobs of Lexington, Kentucky to put on their best “warding off the coloreds and the Muslins” finery in honor of Jesus, Hitler and Thomas Jefferson. Do you like seeing the hate-bomb that is puking all over the American flag, on this man’s t-shirt? Does it capture your patriotic spirit? He will sell you another, to wear to the parade! This is how serious the birth control situation is in Kentucky, because broken condoms result in tragedies like this man, selling apparel to people who want to honor America’s founding dressed like hobo Klansmen. Were there even other tragic people interested in buying from him, or was his booth FOR SOME UNIMAGINABLE REASON labeled “Tea Party Fox News” on the front? SEE THE ANSWER after the jump:

Yes, the brown “INFIDEL” t-shirts read, “Everything I Need to Know About Islam I Learned on 9/11,” which is why they are calling themselves “infidels,” for irony.

So anyway the moral of the story is we are sorry for whoever lives in Lexington, Kentucky. [Thanks to Wonkette Operative "HolyCow!!"]

Today, we have a special treat…if you count water boarding as a treat. I will be watching Glenn Beck’s final show, the first I’ve seen from start to finish.

Minute 1: Beck is outside the New York City studio his show is filmed at. Okay, I can do this. I’ve got a Snapple and an entire bag of Baked Cheetos to get me through this.

Minute 3: A montage of people saying how great Glenn Beck is…all of them are white.

Minute 5: Beck shows a blackboard with “All the things we’ve learned over the years,” on that board are “obscure” names like Andrew Jackson, Andrew Hamilton, and Ben Franklin. So far the only thing I’ve learned is that Beck has only been on the air for TWO and a HALF years instead of the much longer time period it felt like.

Minute 10: I’ve drunk the Snapple dry and moved on to Beer. The bag of Cheetos has been licked clean and thrown into the corner of the room. Time is crawling. I think I can literally hear the grass growing outside. Two snails fucking would move faster than this hour of programming.

Minute 11: Beck references–what else–Hitler. He quotes Hitler as saying “Communism and Christianity are the same thing.” So if they’re the same, and Beck hates Communism does that make him unChristian? Or in league with HITLER?!!! To the blackboards conspiracy nuts!
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Apparently embarrassed after having this video of Governor John Kasich thanking the Union Busting Koch Brother’s front group Americans For Prosperity that they tried to keep secret exposed to the public, the AFP has removed the video from You Tube.

This is a backup of that video.

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We can’t venture a guess why this video was placed on YouTube as unlisted or why it was removed as soon as it was brought to the public’s attention, but we do know the following:

Americans for Prosperity is Part of the Koch Industries Right-Wing Machine:
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by Dave Rainsberger via

We the people of the United Tea Party and GOP States of America, in order to control a more Christian union, establish Southern Justice, ensure Domestic Sovereignty, Provide for the World’s Defense, Promote the Elitist’s Welfare, and Secure God’s Blessings of Liberty for only Ourselves and our Posterity, do Ordain and Establish this Constitution for the United Tea Party and GOP States of America.

… actual text of constitution is the same since we don’t really understand it …

The Bill of the Right:

1st Amendment: Thou shalt not tread on me (aka Freedom to Force Religion Down Atheists Throats)

2nd Amendment: We can shoot anything without thumbs (aka Know the Nuge)

3rd Amendemnt: Ooh Rah Ooh Rah Fear US Guns Boom Boom Run Away (aka A Bomb Only Cost Us A Quarter)

4th Amendment – Stay off my land, don’t you see my gun? (aka That is Not Kiddie Porn on My PC)

5th Amendment – I never said that, it was my twin, oh no you didn’t! (aka Oh It’s On Tape, My Bad)
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It’s been over 2 years since the Tea Party was formed, and since then have they made any significant accomplishments? This is a list (or at least my attempt at one) of things that I believe the Tea Party has accomplished since their creation. I know that many members of the tea party will try to argue with this list, so I’ll cite multiple sources.

Tax cuts for the wealthiest top 2% of Americans- At the peak of the Tea Party movement 18% of Americans, almost 1 in 5, had a favorable view of the Tea Party. Too bad the majority of that 18% doesn’t benefit from being a member of the wealthiest top 2% of Americans.

<Source 1> <Source 2> <Source 3> <Source 4> <Source 5>

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