Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

David Cross Sums Up Conservatives

This pretty much sums it up:

Anti-Muslim Rally Near Ground Zero Turns On Innocent Black Man

So a bunch of tea-tards are protesting the “Lower Manhattan Community Center” when a dark skinned man walks through the crowd raising suspicion. So what does the crowd do? Of course they think he’s a Muslim out to slaughter them like the infidels that they are so they encircle him and start yelling at him. So what was the story on the guy? Yeah, Peurto Rican guy, wearing a beanie cap heading to work, oh, where does he work you ask? He’s a welder for the new Freedom Tower. But yeah, this party isn’t about racism or anything, NO, not at all…

OUTRAGE OVER PLANS TO BUILD LIBRARY NEXT TO SARAH PALIN

*A Satirical look at the Lower Manhattan Community Center Debate.*

PLANS to build a state-of-the-art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America.

Campaigners have described the project as insensitive and a deliberate act of provocation by people with brains.

The issue is forming a dividing line in advance of November’s mid-term congressional elections with candidates being forced to declare whether they have ever been to a library or spoken to someone who has books in their home.

Meanwhile President Obama has caused unease within his own Democratic party by endorsing the library and claiming that not everyone who reads books is responsible for calling Mrs Palin a fuckwit nutjob nightmare of a human being.

But Bill McKay, a leading member of the right-wing Teapot movement, said: “Sarah Palin is a hallowed place for Americans who can’t read.

“How is she going to feel knowing that every day there are people going inside a building to find things out for themselves and have thoughts, right in the very shadow of her amazing nipples.”

He added: “Our founding fathers intended for every building in this country to be a church containing one book, written by Jesus, that would be read out in a strange voice by an orange man in a shiny suit who would also tell you who you were allowed to kill.

“Building a library next to Mrs Palin is like Pearl Harbour. Or 9/11.”

And Wayne Hayes, a pig masseur from Coontree, Virginia, said: “I is so angry right now.

“It’s like something is on fire right in the middle of my head. Like I’ve eaten a real hot chilli, but it’s gone up my nose tubes rather than down my ass tubes.”

He added: “Would these library lovers allow me to set up a stall next to the Smithsonian Museum and start selling DVDs of bible cartoons as long as it was in accordance with local regulations?

“Oh they would? I see. So is that why they’re better than me?”

The Real Mama Grizzlies’ Anti-Sarah Palin Video

Sarah Palin is a self-proclaimed “Mama Grizzly” who wants to “protect [her] cubs” from EVIL things like liberals and the lamestream media. Problem is: Palin presumed all Mama Grizzlies agreed with her on the issues. Well, they don’t.

This new ad by EMILY’s List, a pro-choice PAC with the goal of electing progressive female candidates to government office, takes Palin’s Mama Grizzly meme and turns it on her by featuring a few other Mama Grizzlies who, shockingly, don’t agree with Palin—or think that she should presume that her goals are in line with those of every other American mother. Watch below.

Palin Owned By Alaska Teacher

Queen of the Derp Sarah Palin was in Homer, Alaska where she encountered a woman putting up a sign that read “Worst Governor Ever”. Since Palin is a “defender” of the constitution, she decided to confront the woman who is legaly expressing her view and get her to take down the sign. The sign was later ripped down by one of Sarah’s entourage, here is a pic. Good job supporting someone’s right to free speech.

One of the worst parts of this video is when the the resident informs Sarah that she is a teacher. Sarah responds with an overexagerated eye roll and sneers a look toward her daughter. This woman isn’t teaching in Berkeley, she’s (ostensibly) a teacher at a school in a fishing town of about 5,000 people. She’s probably not kicking back with Das Kapital and a glass of sherry before deciding on which Mercedes-Benz diesel is the most proletariat. Sarah is sneering down her nose at someone who we can safely assume is MUCH more “Real Alaska” than the multimillionaire right-wing media darling and her Chanel suits is now. Funny how Bristol’s reaction equaled her mothers. The disdain is palpable. It was like ‘teacher’ was code word for liberal Palin-hater.

For a more in depth report of this please check out Shannyn’s Blog